Most Embarrassing moment #10

On the heels of my Keystone Staff shout out, I realize that I should post another promised blog...the dread 10 most embarrassing moments of my life.  Instead of a list (which I LOVE lists!) these deserve their own posts.  It has taken me a while to build up the courage to even post some of these...but seems my therapist thinks it will help me get over my issues.  haha...

#10:

Right after the birth of my second child, Caleb, I returned to work at a high-level military office where I was an assistant to a full-colonel and his staff.    Now, before I go on, let me just say one thing, that I am sure other moms will back me up on: You go through phases after you birth a baby, one of which is feeling some-what skinny and excited that you can fit into normal clothes that were not made out the same material and patterns that make tents.  (This SHORT phase is then followed by a period of feeling fat...this phase lasts...well, I am not sure if it ever goes away!) But on with the story:

I was feeling rather thrilled that I was able to wear a silky long skirt that had a cute tie waist.  Of course, these are the days before spanx, so I wore a very sexy pair of control top nude pantyhose with reinforced toes just to smooth things up a bit.

This skirt was GREAT...light weight, flow-y, blah blah blah.  I had slight troubles with the tie waist, only because is was so silky that it didn't stay tied, but no big deal, right??

(I know you know what is coming!)

So I leave my office and prance (enjoying my non-pregnant walk!) down the hallway, I pass a retired general that I worked with, I smile and say hello...only to hear in retort,

 "WHOA!!!  HEY!!!" followed by one of those wheezing laughs where only the first haaaaaaaa gets out.

I pause and begin to turn around, to see what the commotion was about...however, in mid-turn, I happen to catch my foot on something.  I look down, and I see my skirt PUDDLED around my feet!!!  He was "Whoa, hey"ing and doing the silent laugh at ME!!! 

Of course I bend over (on a gracious note to my blog readers, if this ever happens to you, NEVER BEND over...), scoop up my skirt and RUN the nearest bathroom (that happened to be the mens!) and sobbed there for an hour.

If you want to know what I was crying about, I will let you know.  It was not the fact my skirt fell, or the general saw it, I was so upset because all I could think was the fact that instead of normal underwear that day, I had decided to wear my purple MATERNITY underwear.  And let me go back to the beginning of the blog where I mentioned the control-top pantyhose....All you ladies out there that have ever worn maternity underwear, you know what I am talking about.  These are the grandmother of all granny-pannies.  And to have them crinkled up under nude pantyhose of a woman who is just a few weeks postpartum?!  

I disgraced all womanhood that day.