Thursday, January 24, 2008

Innocence at its best...

Years ago, when my now, 7 year old son, Caleb, was only 2 or 3 is in the kitchen during a magnificent Texas lightening storm. Of course it was night time, so the sky is just lighting up in a spectacular display...

Lightening strikes, and Caleb high-tails it into the living room. I hop up expecting him to be frightened, and he looka up at me with his beautiful awe-filled eyes and states:

"Mom! God is taking pictures of me!" it.

Church Germs

A volunteer at church walked past us wearing her red Keystone Staff shirt. My son, Noah, stops dead in his tracks and pulls at my arm (I am surprised I even felt it, carrying 2 kids, and trying to explain in a hushed voice why it is not appropriate to fart in church to my 3rd son.)
Noah is wild-eyed and pointing at this dear lady in red.

"Staff!" he yells..."she has staff! Don't touch her!!"

I then had to stop my detailed explanation that"passing wind" is not the same as the Holy Spirit even if you do it in church, to the difference between STAFF and STAPH (infections).

Friday, January 11, 2008

The smell has caused my nose to go on strike.

We have an odor problem in my house. A BIG one. And I say "one" really is about 8 problems. My boys feet smell soooooo bad. (I normally hate it when people write with over-abundance of vowels, but, trust me, this smell warrants the added o's.) For all the mothers of boys out there, I am sure you will sympathize with me on this one! In fact, I have set up a fund in my name for those who would like to donate to my therapy bills...

So, on with my story, I had sent the kiddies to bed last night, and I am sitting in my room, attempting have some quiet time...the whole time I am sitting on my bed smelling this horrible smell. I know this smell. I start to panic. It is the smell of stinky-boy feet!

My panic deepens when I:

1.)know the kids are in bed and

2.) begin to think that I may have developed a "stinky-boy-feet" problem!

Not I! Oh, please, oh please! I know that I am doomed to suffer through the next 20 years of stinky feet with my kids before I pass them off to a poor, unsuspecting wife...but surely the good Lord would not curse MOI to bare this ghastly smell on my delicate sized 9's! (okay, FINE, size 9 1/2...)

At this point my breathing as become labored and spastic. I am hopping around my bathroom desperately seeking lotions, potions, hospital-grade sanitizers...only to see out of the corner of my eye, my oldest son's head (who's name is with held to protect the innocent..cough...NOAH..cough, cough), pop up from the base of the bed. He looks at me, and calmly asks, "Geez, what's your problem?"

MY PROBLEM!!!! Alas! It is not my problem!!!! It is his stinky feet! Oh, the joy! My precious tootsies have been sparred...I am not doomed to a life of odor-eaters! Rejoice! The skies have parted and the angels are singing!!!

So I send my son BACK to bed with HIS problem of stinky-boy-feet, along with the added problem of a sore butt for getting out of bed!

Being in the cool crowd at Keystone...

So, okay, I have like blogged maybe twice in my life...but since all the cool people at Keystone blog, I guess I will too! (Oh, to be a cool person at church...)

Anyway, I have taken the only other blog entries I have ever written and posted them below. I figure that might help my chances of not having a dorky-looking blog. That would hinder any attempts of reaching coolness...geez.