What to REALLY register for when you are having a baby boy

Okay, ladies. Time to get serious here! SO many of my friends are expecting, and I am getting baby shower invitations like crazy. Of course along with the invitation I also receive the glorified registry information. Being the nosey person that I am, I always love checking out what moms-to-be have registered for... And I scroll through page after page of cute blankets, the latest bottles, the strollers, I always find myself thinking, "Oh, if they only knew..."

So, TODAY is your lucky day! As a slightly insane mother of four boys, I am going to share with you what you SHOULD register for as soon as you find out you are having a boy.

1. An industrial-strength gas mask. Need I explain this? I think not...

2. Food. Lots of food--as if you were stocking up for the next Y2K. Give your sweet little bundle of joy a few years, and he will soon eat you out of house and home! Stock up now, otherwise you will NEVER have a chance of EVER having a full pantry. EVEEEEER!!!!

3. A Mega-Phone...

4. ... and one that attaches to a machine with the following recorded phrases: Stop it. No. Sit Down. No. I said No. and the most important phrase: AIM INTO THE BOWL!!!

5. Bleach. I know there are probably a few of my environmentally-friendly moms who would protest the use of this chemical, but, TRUST ME, what we are bleaching helps keep the phrase "Skid Marks" as a term only used when referring to actual roadways.

6. Toy swords. Now, I am sure you may want to skip this item as you might think it may encourage violence. But let me tell you from personal experience...either you buy your boys swords or they will get creative. Boys and creativity are not always a good thing...so if you forgo store bought swords, just be prepared to use #4's last phrase OFTEN, if you get what I am sayin'.

7. Forget "What to Expect When You are Expecting" the only book you need to register for is How to make Bomb/Crashing/and Gun-Noises for Dummies. This is a MUST, ladies. If you cannot conquer these techniques you will lose credibility FOREVER. (I do offer classes for a small fee if you are interested.)

8. Botox. I know... interesting, right? But, trust me--it is to hide any trace of fear. Once they see your brow furrow over some reptile or bug they have brought in to "show" you...just know it will find a way into your sheets, or other random "SURPRISE--I SCARED MOM!" places. NEVER SHOW FEAR, Ladies!

9. Ear Plugs. Now I know you must be thinking the ear plugs will be for you, right? NOPE. These are for your precious little dude, or dudes. Why you ask? Let me explain that you will have days like this one, which will result in yelling that will reach a pitch only dogs can hear. And of course, as mothers, we DO want to protect our angel's little ears right?!

10. Personalized stationary. No, not with your name or fancy monogramed initials...but with the simple phrase "I am so sorry..." Check out a few times when this would have saved me a few pen strokes: the church germ incident, when pain is unintentionally inflicted on innocent bystanders, when they strip to their skivvies in public, or began one of the most traumatizing moment in not only your personal life, but also cause your neighbor to gouge out his eyes.

(Editors note: There has been a several hour delay to complete this blog due to the flashbacks of the most traumatizing moment. Apparently, I was found curled up in the fetal position mumbling something about "why? Why? WHY?!")

Anyway....

My final words of advise? Be prepared, have a plan, arm yourself! And be ready for the best time ever...I would not trade those dirty-faced little kisses, or the hugs that leave white powdered donut residue on my freshly dry cleaned black pants for the world! I am a PROUD mother of 4 wonderful boys.

I am sitting here in total awe how God works!  I am humbled to know how God has shown such provision over my children and me these past few weeks...even to the smallest of details!

I am so blessed by precious friends that have poured out encouragement and love to us! I wish that I could begin to write how thankful I am...how loved I feel...and how I praise God for all of my Keystone family.  Most people do not know the extent of how the boys and I are going through a life-change, but my friends did not seem to NEED to know the specifics, they just heard of a need of responded in a BIG way!  

I am overwhelmed with such a flood of positive emotion as I go over the events of this past weekend.  So many friends came to help me pack my house...over 20!  We had my entire house packed in less than 3 hours!!  One thing that struck me, is not one person acted like this was a chore, or something they felt obligated to do... everyone had such a spirit of celebration!  It was amazing!  So many details were taken care of... I cannot wait to tell you the whole story soon.  It is a miracle and just beyond words.  I am so, so blessed.  My heart is filled nothing but JOY.

God is SO good!

"As a result of your ministry, they will give glory to God.  For your generosity to them and to all believers will prove that you are obedient to the Good News of Christ.  And they will pray for you with deep affection because of the overflowing grace God has given to you.  Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words."  2 Corinthians 9:13-15

"Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God." Philippians 1:3

An interview with my Aidan. (age 4)

I got this list from my friend Amanda's blog...I thought I would make a few changes, and post Aidan's responses!

1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
"Aidan clean up your room, and say yes ma'am" "oh, and don't pee in the outside, it's rude."

2. What makes Mommy happy?
Mommy is happy when I sing songs.

3. What makes Mommy sad?
When I don't help Shimmy (Jimmy!)

4. How does Mommy make you laugh?
When hers tells jokes...especially when the Monkey Crosses the Road. Its so funny.

5. What was Mommy like as a child?
She had a mommy.

6. How old is your Mommy?
She is really big, but no stripes. (I think he meant wrinkles!)

7. How tall is your Mommy?
Tall like a football player.

8. What is his favorite thing to do?
Go home.

9. What does Mommy do when you're not around?
Find some other people to be around. (he was quite proud of this answer and ended it with "...hmmm...not bad!")

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Because she be beautiful!

11. What is Mommy really good at?
Good at computers and flushing the toilet. (I laughed, and then he said, "I know that is funny, but I know it! Yep!")

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
Fixing the roof, thats it.

13. What does Mommy do for a job?
Praying at church.

14.What is Mommy favorite food?
Salad

15.What makes you proud of Mommy?
Make the nice food at McDonalds.

16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would he be?
A race car because hers race to win and take the other cars down. (insert race car noises here)

17. What do you and Mommy do together?
I am thinking, I am thinking...we go places fun.

18. How are you and Mommy the same?
We have the same color shirts....hmmm I am getting smarter.

19. How are you and Mommy different?
We wear other shoes.

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
Hugging me and says I love you so much.

21. What does Mommy friends like most about your mom?
They love hers because hers have a beautiful dress.

22. Where is Mommy favorite place to go?
A place that has salad...its called Walmart.

EVER WONDER??

Have you ever seen someone's shoe lying in the middle of the road, and wonder, "how in the world?!?!"

Well, wonder no more.

It seemed like we toured all of North Texas today while running errands before church.  I happen to see a red shoe in the middle of the road on 1709.  Thought in the moment, "how does someone lose a shoe IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?!"  About an hour later, I drive past the same red shoe...and drive past it again on the way to church.

Trying to unload the boys, only to notice Jimmy wearing just ONE red shoe.

This is my life.